


wearing the inside out

by a_b028



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Cheating, Implied Mpreg, M/M, well at least emotionally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 10:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19271053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_b028/pseuds/a_b028
Summary: He is a father and he is a husband, and that's far more important than his own pleasures and wishes.





	wearing the inside out

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from Pink Floyd's song "wearing the inside out"
> 
> made purely for fun

"You know I'm right," Baekhyun says in rush and takes Chanyeol's big hands in his much smaller ones. "We could run away together. To the west. You have money and I have connections – no one would bat an eyelash on us there."

They could, indeed, run away, and for a second Chanyeol really contemplates that idea. They could go off on a ship to one of the western countries and live peaceful lives there. He has enough money that it wouldn't be necessary for him to work, and to think – no duties, no politics, no banquets, no family – simply each other company.

But then he thinks of Kyungsoo – his beautiful, doting husband, and their children, whom he bore for Chanyeol and whom they raise together. Of his peaceful life, his secured position in the society and the job he does, a job on which many lives depends. And he thinks, no, he's sure that even if it's tempting proposition, it wouldn't be fair to disappear just like that.

He is a father and he is a husband, and that's far more important than his own pleasures and wishes. He smiles sadly at Baekhyun and starts softly, "No," he squeezes his lover's hands, "As much as I like the idea, I cannot simply leave."

"Why not?" Baekhyun cries out, his expression previously full of hope now twisted in agony, "You cannot convince me that you're happy here – stuck in this shithole with a person you don't love along with a bunch of snotty children. Doing bussines, _ha!_ Just making poor people poorer and rich ones richer, there's hundred men capable of doing the same. I'm sure that's a life you dreamed of having."

Something in Chanyeol snaps and he pulls his hands away, "Listen to what you saying, please. Maybe it doesn't occur to you, understandably so – you are much younger and still free from such duties – but I am not, _I am_ _not_." He takes a deep breath and looks Baekhyun in the eyes, now full of tears, "Maybe my union to Kyungsoo wasn't born out of love, but I do respect him and do not wish to burden him and my snotty children with the outcome and shame of me running off with a lower class gentleman."

Chanyeol knows that bringing up their class differences is a low blow, but what has to he done has to be done. And he has to end things with Baekhyun tonight, properly.

 _"Lower class gentleman,_ " Baekhyun's bitter laugh echoes in the room, "That's a nice way to put it. It didn't matter to you earlier, it didn't matter _at all_. I knew I shouldn't bother myself with older rich men, especially the ones that are liars."

"Please, Baekhyun," he says quietly, he hopes his expression is pleading enough, "It doesn't have to be like this. Let's end it quickly and without unnecessary pain."

"There's nothing romantic in love or heartbreak without pain. There's no _heartbreak_ without pain!" Baekhyun takes a step back and looks at Chanyeol's face. His tears are now falling freely, "So this is the end? The _goodbye_?"

"Yes," Chanyeol nods, and feels his own eyes watering, his soul a little heavier than before, "I want you to remember that you are always welcome in my home."

"But not in your bed?" Chanyeol shakes his head, he never allowed Baekhyun into his bed, "Nor in your heart?"

He smiles sadly at that and says a soft _no_. Baekhyun wipes his eyes for the first time this evening and just throws himself back at Chanyeol, "Let me have this one last hug, please." He whispers, his voice hoarse and full of pain. Chanyeol says nothing and hugs back, drowning in the feeling of Baekhyun body for the last time, and even though he knows it's wrong, he cannot help but compare him to Kyungsoo. Wherein his husband is soft and somewhat curvy – not only due to pregnancies, he has always been soft. Baekhyun is all sharp edges and has much more muscles on him, thanks to his training at academy.

His lover sobs again, and Chanyeol just hughs him tighter. He knows that for Baekhyun it feels like the end of the world. He has no one except his brother and his social position isn't exactly the best – but he is young, bright and witty. He has good connections and if there's a need, Chanyeol will always help him. There's wonderful future waiting for him.

Chanyeol would come back to his life, steady and good. To his job, to his beautiful and doting husband and to their children. Maybe it's boring, but it's the path he has chosen.

"You know that I don't think that your children are snotty," He hears Baekhyun mumble against his chest, Chanyeol can feel his tears on his suit jacket, "They are lovely, and so is Kyungsoo - he is really pretty and kind. You were right, they wouldn't deserve it. I didn't mean to say any of that."

He slowly pulls away and looks at Baekhyun, "I know," he also repeats to him that he is always welcome and says that despite everything, he is glad that they met. They do not exchange other words, he walks Baekhyun to the door and waves his carriage off. It indeed feels like an ending, though it'll be more like a beginning to him. He then returns and locks himself in his study, alone in the manor since Kyungsoo and the children are still at Kyungsoo's brother's property. He is a little bitter now, he thinks, but he also knows that it'll pass in no time. He knows that he allowed himself much with Baekhyun and he regrets that in a way, he betrayed Kyungsoo.

He looks at his family's portraits on his desk, at his husband soft, heart shaped smile, his sons' beaming faces with crooked ties around their necks, and on a photography of his daughter dressed up to the nines with her favourite dolly in hands. He smiles.

Life goes on.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my fic, I hope you enjoyed it - I'd love to read your comment about it! 
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes, english is not my mother language
> 
> The idea for this came to me after watching the movie 'Maurice' (great one, I highly recommed it) and I had fun writing it, honestly I'm not even a chanbaek shipper but I felt like this paring would be the best for this type of fic
> 
> edit: so due to confusion concerning the paring tags in here I want to explain why I left them like that; this shortfic is about chanbaek and their unfulfilled love, chansoo is an addition that explains why the love is unfulfilled - chanyeol is a married man who doesn't want to leave his partner and because of that he ends his fling with baekhyun and that's what the story is about. I apologize if I confused some of you
> 
> again, thanks for reading!


End file.
